Valentines day

I have had the whole weekend to rage over this one, no scrap that, all of my adult life.  This could be the big one, the one that finally breaks the camel back and sends my rage spilling out into the streets of England as I uncontrollably rant, insulting the town folk as I rampage through the villages.

My least favourite day of the year just behind Easter.  No not 9/11, Valentines day.  The day where lovers are legally allowed to make everyone else int he world feel crap about being single and lonely.  But this isn't just one day, no, February is named lovers month.  The build up occurs around mid January as shops are flooded with cuddly heart toys, mountains of cheap cards with dumb arse poems and declarations of love.  The price of roses inexplicably rises to take advantage of those who believe that one day a year they have to woo their lover with shitty gifts  that no-one actually wants.  What is going to happen to the love teddy after February 14th?  It goes to the back of the cupboard along with the repressed feelings of disappointment that their partner no longer satisfies them in bed or actually gives a shit about them anymore.

Walking home from work on Valentines day is not recommended for the singles, do yourself a favour and get a cab that night.  Men and woman clutch desperately onto their shitty gifts showing the world that someone actually cares about them and they are not alone.  In the windows of restaurants are the lovers who like to show the world that despite the fact their sex life dried up a couple of years ago, they can still gaze into each others eyes one day a year and hide all those feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction that they have been harbouring since last February the 14th.  The streets are filled with couples who cling desperately onto each others hands so that the world doesn't think they are alone on Valentines night.   

Who came up with this concept in the first place?  The greetings cards and gift companies who spotted a dip in their profits margins between Christmas and Easter.  This day isn't about love, its all about money and I say well done to those companies who charge you a disproportionate amount of money for the crappy gifts they import from a sweatshop in China.  Yep, that's real love right there, your £9.99 teddy they bought for 20p from a child who worked 20 hour days just to get your shitty gift ready in time.


So this Valentines day join me in my crusade.  Don't buy any gifts this year, don't give a shitty card that gets binned immediately, don't book at a restaurant who double their prices for one day a year.  Instead this year stick two fingers up to this pointless day.  You have 14 days left to comply or face the full force of my anger.