The origin of species - chavs

I had to take a break from my blog on Monday and take a lie down and do some yoga to calm myself down. Well I would do yoga if I could actually stretch down to reach the tips of my toes but unfortunately my fatty midriff sits as a flabby barrier to my goal. I feared that if I blogged on Monday I would potentially write some angry gibberish because this one has made me livid, yes, livid.

So what could it be that has made me so angry, what could have possibly riled me up so badly that I considered yoga? Chavs, the fake Burberry gold chain hoop earring wearing chavs. For those who are lucky enough to not live in this dump we call England I owe you some background, the rise of the chavs has been meteoric. Overnight they seemed to spring up around the towns of the UK as if an alien being had dropped onto earth, fake Burberry their uniform as they plot the downfall of this country.

What is it in particular that makes me so angry? Well if you have to ask you have obviously had the pleasure of never meeting one. 

They seem to think that the world owes them a favour when they have done nothing in return. They have it too bloody easy in this country. They have grown up in a family where their parents haven't had to work, sponging off the state, and in turn they have complete disregard for society and believe they should be looked after by everyone else whilst offering nothing back. Instead they slouch outside the local fried chicken shop shouting obscenities at everyone who walks by.

If you fight back against one of these disrespectful pricks you may be lucky enough to see them walking. It's not a walk a normal person does, no, instead they somehow manage to keep the slouch and stumble towards you dragging one arm by their side like a monkey who just had a stroke. They may even try and communicate with you, it's not English they speak but their own garbled language of words they somehow seem to all understand but is gibberish to most.

So where do these vile creatures come from? Could they really come from out of space. Alas, sigh, it's not as glamorous than that. Is the chav a result of inbreeding? I would say almost categorically, yes. Its the only explanation for the origin of scum.  I bet Darwin never saw this coming.