Non-Celebrities

England, oh England what the hell are you doing?  What have you done to annoy me this time?  Well the list is long and plentiful but today I am going to discuss your obsession with the non celebrity before the throbbing vein on my forehead bursts with all this pent up rage.  My issue is the sheer number of people you idolise who seem to have no discernible talent.  Every country has celebrities sure but England seems to be obsessed with anyone who appears on TV or somehow gets into the public eye no matter how vile they are or how little talent they actually possess.

Crap magazines filled with gossip about the said non celebrities and their awful crappy lives that England can't seem to get enough of.  I don't care if your latest marriage is falling apart, keep it to yourself.  I don't care if you are getting surgery to make your already disgusting breasts even bigger.  I really don't want to read details about which guy you shagged  in order to get a new story for these degenerate publications.  I really couldn't give a crap and neither should anyone else.  These people make a living selling stories of their awful lives and the British public lap it up quicker than Jordan changes her husbands.  The worst part is these people are actually idolised, people want to be just like them.  Instead of aiming to do something positive and fulfilling with your life people now aim to become a celebrity.   

The rise of celebrity shows only seems to make my blood boil even further  Celebrity love island, throw a celebrity out of a plane, send a celebrity to a jungle and watch them suffer.  For the love of god will you please stop with the madness!  They invade every form of media possible, there is no escape. 

We now even have a celebrity classification system for the importance of the celebrity.  A "Z" list celebrity is someone who has appeared on a reality TV show but has done nothing of note since all the way up to an "A" list celeb who appear in Hollywood films.  

Lets take a look at a couple of case studies.  Jordan, the ultimate non celebrity.  She can't sing, she can't act, she can barely string a comprehensible sentence together yet she got her tits out and now she is a multi millionaire.  Kerry Katona, she was briefly in a crappy girl band and has since done nothing of note except being an atrocious mother and nearly killing herself by shoving bags full of coke up her fat nostrils.  Yet these people remain in the public eye and still make the front page of newspapers and magazines as they sell intimate details of their lives for the public to lap up.  Why do we care?  Why do we read about them?  Why the fuck do we idolise these people?

I can't see how this situation is going to get any better.  I am exhausted from crap celebrity overload.  I'm going to have to sit down, close the curtains and hide for a couple of days and hope Jordan's massive breasts or Kerry Katona's drug ravaged nose don't find me during my non celebrity detox.

Shit, the vein just burst.